Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Random babbling

I'm amazed at how much blogging has become the same as the rest of my life.  I want to do it, I like doing but I don't really do it as much as I want to.  I love reading other blogs, the list of ones I'm following is getting ridiculously long, and most days by the time I've read all the updates, I forget what I wanted to talk about or someone else has already talked about it and done a better job than I could do.  Yes I know, I should post first.  Unfortunately, like so many other things, the fact that I should do something means nothing.  

I'm still working on getting this stupid garage sale ready, the more I think about it, the more I just want to toss all this crap into the back of the truck and drop it off at the Sally Ann.  The thought of sitting out there all day having people look over your stuff and judging it.  Ugh.  On the other hand, I have spent (wasted) so much money on some of this stuff and never used it, I feel compelled to at least get something for it.  I'll try not to go on about it anymore.  I'll let you know when it's over.

Mood wise, I'm ok.  We actually have sun in the forecast for the next few days, what a relief.  I really hope it helps my general disposition.

We have decided to seriously cut back on spending and surprisingly enough the thing I miss most is the chips, yum potato chips, crunchy, salty... I'm not sure what role food plays in my life.  I know for sure I eat when I'm bored and I eat when I'm angry. 

I'm still considering trying to find a therapist of some sort.  Thing is I don't think there's anything a therapist can tell me that I don't already know.  I have no deep dark secrets in my past, I don't self medicate, I know my low self-esteem and negative thinking holds me back.  I think what would be really cool would be if some random shrink started reading my blog and giving me insights and advice.  The thought of actually showing up to someone's office once a week or whatever and having to talk does not appeal at all.  But there has to be someone out there who is smarter than me who can provide me with some information that will create the famous "A-ha moment" and then everything will fall into place and I will become successful, confident and live happily ever after.  Is that too much to ask? 


  1. I DO read your blog. Just so you know. It pops up in my reader when you post.

    And thanks for being willing to share your depression struggles. I recently shared with a co worker and found out that she's been struggling since she was 12!!TWELVE!!! Can't imagine. But she thanked me for talking with her, because she felt alone.

    Sometimes I do, too.

  2. I don't think it could hurt to find a therapist. I'd personally love to have one at the moment but financially it's just not possible. I run in circles with how I think and even though I'm conscious of it--I can't seem to stop it a lot of the time.

    I don't know if this will help, but when I get the blah's I make the extra effort to find something I find interesting to focus my attention on. Check out TED.com to watch people from all over the world talk about some amazing things.

    Good luck with your garage sale and post when you want to. It's your blog. If you get to it then great...if not...that's okay too!