Thursday, June 9, 2011

Benefits of blogging

Writing this blog has been helpful for a few reasons:

1.  I think I mentioned before that entries in my pen and paper journal typically spiraled into long ramblings full of self-pity and misery.  Since I know people will be reading the blog posts, I make a conscious effort to be honest and though they may still be somewhat self-pitying  to readers, so far to me, they feel more like pinpointing my issues.  Setting them out in black and white instead of letting them swirl around in my head.

2.  As a result of number 1, I feel like I have a direction and some more concrete paths to follow in my recovery.

3.  I used to cringe when people said to me "You're not alone".  Am I supposed to take solace in the fact that other people are as miserable as I am?  I always thought it was a stupid thing to say.  Now, for me, "You're not alone" means something entirely different.  From your comments (which are greatly appreciated) and from reading other blogs I realize that I am not some broken, freakish basket case.  That my problems are real, so real that others have some of the same problems (no, I don't think we are all broken freakish basket cases!)  and there are even people who had these problems and overcame them.

4.  Another one I've always hated was "You didn't get here overnight, you won't get better overnight".  What?  It sure as hell feels like my life collapsed pretty darn fast and if it won't get better over night, how long will it take?  Again the comments and other blogs have shown me that it is not a question of when I'll be all better, dare I say cured, but a question of making progress.  Feeling better than I did yesterday and accepting the bad spells (whether they be days or weeks or whatever) as temporary.

5.  Despite differences in age, background, childhoods and other life circumstances and experiences, the feelings that come along with depression are pretty universal.  It's pretty hard to wallow in self-pity asking "why me" when you are fully aware that others are fighting the same battle.  Knowing that 1 in 10 (or whatever it is) people struggle with depression just isn't the same.

6.  Initially, my struggle with depression was going to be a sort of side show here.  You may have guessed that by the title - "Artsy, Fartsy"  -  clearly I didn't a) give the title enough thought, and b) I don't take my creative pursuits very seriously but I digress...  I have found that when I sit down to write, I write what comes easily,  so far it has primarily been about my depression.  Writing about it has made me more creative in a way that "trying" to be creative and following the instructions and exercises other people write does not. 

7.  About reading and commenting on other blogs;  initially I (and my husband especially) worried that reading other depression blogs would take me back to dark places and I should not "risk" reading them.  The truth has proven to be quite the opposite.  Though I am often afraid that my comments might come out wrong or be taken the wrong way (since I often assume the worst myself) I go ahead and make them anyway.  I can only hope that my comments are taken in the spirit in which they are intended. 


  1. Hi there! Thats great that it is helpful. I have come to realize people have no earthly idea what to say unless they have experienced it. I try hard now to just let go what they might say no matter how annoying or ridiculous it sounds. Hope you have a fun day, I am actually going to spend the afternoon doing some hand embroidery. Hope you are doing well, hugs, Kim

  2. Loving the perspective here and I get a kick out of the sarcasm as well. I'm glad it's working for you. It helps me too.

  3. Keeping a blog has been the grooviest thing I've done in quite awhile and it seriously really helps me. Which reminds me I have not posted in awhile.

  4. Thanks for reading and for leaving comments. I just realized in re-reading this post that I guess my next step should be exploring/attacking the issues that I'm setting out in black and white.

  5. Take whatever steps you need to... in the order in which you need to take them.

    That's something I've learned. Everyone's 'case' (for lack of a better word) is different, and so are we. What works for me may not be what works for you or another person. I think a great deal of the journey HAS to be made alone, even if you have support... because you're the only one who can find your path.