This past Saturday was another potluck party (don't worry I don't intend to update you on each and every one.) This one was a pool party and after my usual hemming and hawing and back and forthing I went and I'm glad I did. Don't get me wrong here, it's not that I have ever been actually sorry I went (not so far anyway) it's just that this time I really had fun.
Sometimes it's hard for me to be in groups of people who have busy lives with work and friends because my circle of experiences is quite small now. I don't have a job, I don't have any other friends and I don't do stuff. I'm left talking about my depression which I try not to do but so much of my life is wrapped up around my moods that even if I talk about something else it is usually tied somehow to my illness and I don't want to be a drag. (I don't want to write run-on sentences either but what the Hell)
Then there's the kids but who wants to hear the details of your kids lives. On the one hand I like to hear how things are going for other people who have kids the same age but on the other hand it sort of brings home to me how things might be different if I hadn't been so ill and "checked out" when the kids were smaller. (BTW Jess has been sick with some kind of stomach bug for a week now, poor baby. I wish I could do something to help her but they say it's one of those viral things that has to run it's course. Derek is turning in to a clothes horse, a real fashion plate and he's buying all these new clothes on his own, hasn't asked us for a penny.)
Then there is my art, but talking about it feels like I'm either bragging or fishing for compliments so I try to keep that to a minimum too.
I did tell them about this blog and some asked for the address. I'm not sure how I feel about them reading this but it's no secret that I have a mental illness so I guess it shouldn't matter too much. If they find it boring I suppose that doesn't matter either because they are far too kind to come right out and say so.
P.S. I did take my bathing suit, I did put it on and I even got in the pool!
Sometimes it's hard for me to be in groups of people who have busy lives with work and friends because my circle of experiences is quite small now. I don't have a job, I don't have any other friends and I don't do stuff. I'm left talking about my depression which I try not to do but so much of my life is wrapped up around my moods that even if I talk about something else it is usually tied somehow to my illness and I don't want to be a drag. (I don't want to write run-on sentences either but what the Hell)
Then there's the kids but who wants to hear the details of your kids lives. On the one hand I like to hear how things are going for other people who have kids the same age but on the other hand it sort of brings home to me how things might be different if I hadn't been so ill and "checked out" when the kids were smaller. (BTW Jess has been sick with some kind of stomach bug for a week now, poor baby. I wish I could do something to help her but they say it's one of those viral things that has to run it's course. Derek is turning in to a clothes horse, a real fashion plate and he's buying all these new clothes on his own, hasn't asked us for a penny.)
Then there is my art, but talking about it feels like I'm either bragging or fishing for compliments so I try to keep that to a minimum too.
I did tell them about this blog and some asked for the address. I'm not sure how I feel about them reading this but it's no secret that I have a mental illness so I guess it shouldn't matter too much. If they find it boring I suppose that doesn't matter either because they are far too kind to come right out and say so.
P.S. I did take my bathing suit, I did put it on and I even got in the pool!
Swimming or playing pool always is fun and refreshing, Have a great Monday, Hugs, Kim
ReplyDeleteWay to go! It looks like things are beginning to brighten for you. I hope so.
ReplyDeleteHelp, I went to counseling today to find out our insurance wont pay (eventhough listed on our plan) UGH. So do you have any books, types of therapy, anything I should try, I need to resolve past issues and live in the present. Le me know. Hugs, Kim
ReplyDeleteOMGosh, I felt like I was reading my own thoughts and words! I'm in utter amazement that there is someone else out there that feels like I do. I don't know if that's a good thing or not, but it does make me feel like I'm not the only one....not that that helps. LOL
ReplyDeleteI would love to talk to you more if you feel like it. You can email me through my blog or at:
singlerose4u@hotmail.com
I'm glad you had a good time! That's a start! :)