Friday, September 23, 2011

Trying to make some changes

My mood has been a little rocky the last few days but overall improving I think.  I started SAMe and cut my Pristiq on the same day so I don't know which is which but my energy is also improving somewhat.  I feel calmer.

I posted a sheet on the wall and I intend to keep track of how I'm spending my time in the hopes that I can see how I can make some changes to make my life feel a little more.... meaningful.  I think that's what I'm looking for. 

I've started looking for some volunteer opportunities that are one time things or once a week and I got some bus tickets.  I decided I can't use lack of car as an excuse to be a virtual shut in anymore.  I made a list of things I would like to spend time on:  Creative time, Max, Learning time, Housework, Blogging, Meditating and Self-Care.  I also made a list of things I want to spend less time on:  Surfing, T.V. (without also doing something else, i.e. stitching at the same time), Sleeping (just to pass the time), sorting/organizing.  Most importantly I want to spend less time ruminating on stuff - anger, disappointment, fear, excuses, self-pity.

Now my problem is to keep myself motivated to make some changes and accountable for not doing anything without putting pressure on myself to make all the changes, all at once and all the time.  I figure keeping track of my time will help (ever notice that as soon as your doctor tells you to keep track of what you're eating you suddenly start eating better?), keeping a record of positive changes here, using timers so time doesn't slip away from me and to ask myself honestly why I do what I do, why I make the choices I do without the old "I just don't feel like it" as an option.

Any other suggestions on how to keep myself on track and motivated would be greatly appreciated.


  1. The only thing that EVER gets me motivated is other people, which I find very interesting since I tend to isolate. It's as if there is some sort of perverse pleasure in beating myself up by being alone. Groups like AA or church or book clubs seem to help a lot of people. They help me anyway.

  2. I definitely think getting out of the house helps alot (eventhough I realize its not what anyone depressed really wants to do) I hope you can find something to do that you enjoy :o)