Tuesday, November 1, 2011

The Bad and the Good

The last few weeks I have been finding it unusually difficult to let things go.  I'm angry about all kinds of things that I should just be dealing with and letting go of.  For example, our new neighbour who keeps banging on his garage wall which is our living room wall.  We have been living here for 20 years and this is the first time we've had this problem - he's banging and drilling and sawing and I'm ready to go over there and ask what the fuck it is that he's doing.  Also, there are people who don't pick up after their dog leaving massive piles of dog shit in which Max feels compelled to roll around in.  As always the kids are driving me batty but it is bringing me down more so than usual and causing me to feel even more sorry for myself.  I have even begun to think that I adopted the only selfish dog on the planet.  He's only interested in me if I have food or a leash in my hand.  This brings me to a recent goal I have made to bond more with Max by teaching him treats (telling mistake) tricks.  This one I have not made any progress on at all - why?  I don't know.

On the other hand, I have been finding myself more able and willing to get stuff done.  I'm still - verrry slooowly - making progress in my spare room.  I am doing one of my favourite things which is sorting and organizing and I am working towards a space that is easy and welcoming to use and will inspire me to actually create some art and experiment with new techniques with all the art materials and supplies I have accumulated. (woa, talk about a run on sentence).

Lately I also find myself feeling crowded.  I'm wanting to get rid of furniture, tables, containers, projects in progress and things that are on the way to someplace else to be put away.  (this is something that D has been harping on for quite a while)  It never really bothered me much before but now it feels...cluttered and that makes it feel messy and makes it demoralizing to try and clean.  Sweeping and mopping requires way too much moving of furniture, lifting of wires, picking up of shoes - I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.  I feel kinda psyched (maybe wrong choice of words) about making these changes.

Last but not least the meditation thing before getting up.  I downloaded a bunch of free meditations from all over the internet.  My favourite, by far, is called a self-hypnosis thing but I'm not sure how that differs from other guided meditations.  It is called "Hypnosis for Relaxation and Positive Thinking" by Alex Wilon.  It's a free download at his site.  It has excellent affirmations and a really good relaxation component.  I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I feel much better on the days I do it. 

I'm still five pounds up and my legs and knees still hurt.  John says it's the change in temperature, it's finally starting to feel like fall and I love that.  I'm going to start wearing leggings to see if keeping my legs warm will help with the ache.

I'm inspired by Spanner to end this post with "Onwards and upwards in the pursuit of happiness!"

1 comment:

  1. Cool blog today. All your exasperation is directed outwards at people who are being a bit selfish and your admiration is directed inwards at the steps you're taking.
    Plus I get a "shout out" at the end lol.

    Be lucky, best wishes and regards Spanner.