Monday, July 23, 2012

Why I will not commit suicide.

You're brainwashed into thinking that suicide is this evil, selfish thing.  So you don't do it.  You get up every morning, or drag yourself out of bed is more accurate.  You do what you can of needs to be done, you get through the day as best you can until it's late enough that you can go to bed and fall into some kind of unconsciousness, it can't be sleep because there's no sense of refreshment or renewal your supposed to get from sleep.
Some times you feel a little better for a while but pretty soon you're back in the bottom of a black pit mired in tar so you can hardly move but still you get up and do the best you can and the people around you, with very few exceptions don't want to know .  They are happy to have you spend all  your energy pretending to be fine because they don't understand, they don't know what to do or say, they don't want the truth because it's ugly and they can't control it or fix it.  Sometimes they like to tell you everyone feels that way sometimes or they are are sick, in pain, stressed or troubled somehow too.  They really don't know or care but for sure they're the ones who will curse you or condemn you for not trying hard enough, or trying enough different things or call you coward for committing suicide.  See if you don't, you are the one that suffers, not them.  The best you can hope for is a heart attack or maybe to stroke out.

2 comments:

  1. She, I love you.

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  2. Why do so many of us feel this way, yet there is no cure?

    ReplyDelete